"Death is merely the end of all maintenance." R.C.
"If you think you understood what I just said, then you didn't understand what I just said." (Alan Greenspan)
Old Arab Saying - "The dogs bark but the caravan passes."
Mankind's 10 Stages of Drunkenness (Dan Jenkins)
1. Witty and Charming
2. Rich and Powerful
5. Fuck Dinner
7. Crank Up the Enola Gay
8. Witty and Charming, Part II
B.G.O. - Blinding Grasp of the Obvious
Producer to Guitar Player: "Hey, how about some dynamics?"
Guitar Player to Producer: "Dynamics? Im playing as loud as I can!"
Producer to Musician: "You played some really sensitive shit, man."
Musician to Producer: "Im a polished motherfucker."
"Music is just the shit between the jokes." George Schlatter to Glen Roven
"Im sorry, but Im going to have to turn down this film. I just dont feel that its Loni Andersons best work." Richard Bellis
"I love how your mind works; I just wish I could agree with it more." Arthur Hamilton re: R.C.
Sean McCarver: "I cant stand it that Ive sold seven screenplays and none of them have been made."
R.C.: "Do you want to make money or whine about art?"
Sean: "Well, both actually."
"Nobody ever left the theatre humming a two-shot." Mark Brull
"No matter how cynical you get, its impossible to keep up." Lily Tomlin
Nobody ever looks back on his life and says, "Boy, I wish Id spent more time at the office."
"Working at the speed of scale." Old Hollywood Saying
"If my computer was any more powerful, it wouldnt work at all." R.C.
"I always earn some of my money." Joey Rand
"If you cant find a big enough rock to hide under, muddy the water." R.C.
"If a project is not worth doing, its not worth doing well."
"Theres no tape for this cue? Well, we probably did it before there was tape..."
Avi, Dec. 6, 1991, 5:10 A.M.
OVERHEARD AT A CHRISTMAS PARTY:
"My body, which was a temple, is now an amusement park."
"Be a duck. Show unruffled feathers on the surface, and underneath, paddle like hell."
Post-production in ancient China (a small Zen verse)
(courtesy of Jeff Rona)
"May you live in interesting times." Old Chinese Curse
"May you have a lawsuit in which you know you are right." Old Gypsy Curse
"May you have a million dollars, and may it not be enough to pay your doctor bills."
Old Jewish Curse
Sportswriter Jim Murrays description of the Holyfield/Foreman fight:
"I went to a fight last night. One of the boxers looked like a Greek God.
The other looked like a Greek restaurant."
Jim Hills Three Secrets For Success:
2. Attention To Detail
Greg Townleys Secret For Success:
"I just push buttons until I hear something."
Adam Fields Secret For Success: (to: Sherman Helmsley, vocalist)
"Sherman, youre a genius!"
"When the going gets weird, the weird get going."
"I just missed another great opportunity to keep my mouth shut." Don Williams, percussionist
"If you dont know where youre going, it doesnt matter how you get there."
"If you dont have anything good to say about someone, then come here and sit right next to me."
Until the morale around here improves, the beatings will continue.
"It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it." Stephen Wright
Roseanne Barr On Her Public Image:
"My friends tell me I have to be more feminine, I have to be more ladylike, but I just say, 'Hey, suck my dick!'"
"Working in Hollywood gives one a certain expertise in the field of prostitution."
"This group The Sex Pistols pukes on stage? I dont necessarily like that. Thats not showmanship...They gotta get themselves an act."
"Fear is just excitement in need of an attitude adjustment."
Chad Volpe, SCL webmaster and occasional SAG stuntman
"Good Heavens, TV is something you appear on. You dont watch it."
On The Road (see also Ray's Excellent Racing Page)
"Its the pedal on the right." R.C.
"If you cant smell the brakes, then you havent been for a drive." R.C.
"Brakes are to be used in case of personal emergencies only." R.C.
"A squealing tire is a happy tire." Jan Beechus, Indycar driver and Rays instructor at Jim Russell Racing at Laguna Seca.
"Phillip Glass's writing makes the Ramones sound like Beethoven."
Reporter to Dennis OConner after winning the Americas Cup: "So, do you still enjoy sailing?"
0Conner: "Sailing? I hate sailing. I like winning."
John Beal: "I just got a call to do the music for two Camel cigarette commercials."
R.C.: "Thats great! Youre the only composer I know who still smokes, so youll have no moral problem with doing the gig."
John Beal: "Well, well see how much money is involved."
"Dare to be cheap!" Trevor Morris
Old pilots saying: "Any landing you can walk away from is a good landing."
There are old pilots, and there are bold pilots, but there are no old, bold pilots.
"Dont look back, something may be gaining on you." - Satchel Paige
"Its a beautiful day for baseball. Lets play two." - Ernie Banks
"Its showtime!" - Bob Fosse, as he popped methedrine in the morning.
"Nobodys human." - Jon Joyce
Greg Townley, after quickly bailing himself out of a desperate situation: "Arent you impressed?"
R.C.: "Yes, both with your speed and your lack of preparation."
Question: "Why is duct tape like The Force?"
Answer: "It has a light side, and a dark side, and it holds the universe together."
"That life is worth living is the most basic of assumptions, and, were it not assumed, the most impossible of conclusions." Santayana
Tennessee definition of a good farmhand: "In the field, mules in harness, waiting for dawn."
courtesy of Wanda Colcord, Shelbyville Tennessee.
"I dont wake up in the morning, I come to. I dont fall asleep at night, I pass out. And Im sober!"
"Its a 3-minute piece, how long could it take?" - Glen Roven at the start of a 3-day session.
"Producers: Omniscient, Omnipotent, Omnivorous." R.C.
"Thats where I want to be, on the cutting edge of semi-pro." - R.C., after watching 3 days of 3 ADATS.
Avi Kipper, to Ed Kalnins, RE: the ADAT BRC...
"Now, when you said it was squirrely, what exactly did you mean?"
Anything goes...until it doesnt.
"What is the real relationship between drama and Dramamine?" - R.C.
Bad places where audio goes: Bias Heaven... The great bit-bucket in the sky
Producer's favorite pay scale - Triple Spec.
"When you have a deadline, there is no such thing as an inanimate object." - R.C.
Does anal retentive have a hyphen?
Age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill.
"My best definition of man is the ungrateful biped." - Dostoevski
"Im not psychic, Im just sort of telepathetic." Cara Hagans, Data Distributing
"Well fix it in post.....Oh shit! Were in post!"
SEEN ON T-SHIRT...
Theatre Is Life
Film Is Art
Television Is Furniture
Glenn Close to Michael Keaton in "THE PAPER"...
"You are so...fucking...fired!"
Bryan Hunter, age 7, upon buying an odd-looking marionette in Ixtapa, Mexico...
"His name is Go-Go, and hes insane."
Superscore - The Endless Tweak
Out there on the bleeding edge.
"The endless tyranny of the blank page." R.C.
"If Batman is smart enough to build the Batcave and Batmobile, why doesnt he hire a decent director?"
7-year old Mitchell Sean
"I find your lack of faith disturbing." Darth Vader
"Any man who dies with more than ten thousand dollars in the bank is a failure."
Large and in charge.
1. No Research and Development on Workdays.
2. Every Day is a Workday.
3. Prepare for the most neurotic possibility.
"Theres something funny about this CD player; it cues up 1 second into every track. Its not ideal."
"Everybodys so hung up on sync, like its so important."
Michael Dees (singer)
Trial by Incineration
Doug Ivester - CEO of Coca-Cola "You know, I dont feel stress."
His wife, Kay - "Of course you dont, youre a carrier!"
Greg Townley, about to punch in on a vocal track, "All three words?"
"I always endeavor to be frank, yet diplomatic. Failing that, I will be blunt."
Tom Null, President, Citadel Records
Ad for Duke Nukem: "You have to love a guy who thinks the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms is a convenience store."
"Niño, Schmiño, it's just a winter storm."
Fortune in fortune cookie opened by Chris Beck, composer, while mixing at Superscore Studios:
PEOPLE ARE WAITING FOR CUES FROM YOU
"If you're under control, you're not driving hard enough." Parnelli Jones
The world is full of needy producers.
"The online has to match the offline! It can't change!" Rhonda Moore, producer
"So far, so what?" Eric Bikales - composer
"The Threaten, Diminish, and Demean school of Management."
Philosophy for Modern Living:
"Why do homework? We can all be professional wrestlers."
Richard Brightman, Child Psychologist
"A closed mouth gathers no feet."
"Differences in degree, when sufficient, become differences in kind."
"Democracy is simply the bludgeoning of the people, by the people, for the people." Oscar Wilde